I have three daughters..., all three are pretty, smart, talented..., and, apparently took after their mother..., not dad. They were good girls..., and grew to be wonderful young ladies. One by one, they learned to drive.., enjoyed high school proms.., graduated from college with good grades.., applied for, and landed good jobs. Along the way, they managed to get away from their dad long enough to date, fall in love, and marry three great guys. Life is perfect, you say? Sorry..., life is not always what it seems.
Yeah..., Dad liked the boys..., seems like we were always doing something together. One brought over a football..., I bought each of us a new baseball glove. Grandbabies began to spring-up like daisies. But...., a really big BUT..., one of the guys liked to "drink a couple of beers" after work. A couple?
Sometimes when we had family functions, he seemed to be a little unsteady on his feet. He would excuse himself, and go to the bathroom at odd times. And, he began to complain more and more about how everyone..., everyone mistreated him, and took advantage of him.
My daughter had never been around anyone with a "substance" problem. She didn't recognize any of the tell-tale signs of an alcoholic..., but everyone else was noticing. He showed up at her work, teaching school and coaching, with a strong odor of alcohol on his breath..., and stumbling around. At the end of the year, she was not rehired. Good evaluations..., but no explanation for her "pink slip".
The other two sisters had children by then..., and, were none too happy when the son-in-law with the "problem" wanted to whisk the babies over his head..., stumbling all the while. He was quickly losing those daughters' trust and confidence. As a family, we were slipping apart.
Then..., one day..., he "decided" to quit his job..., stay home..., and enjoy being with his wife through her first pregnancy. Problem was..., his wife was baby-sitting all of the surrounding neighbors children. My daughter was obligated to tell the neighbors..., now, she had no income.
The next nine months were an absolute nightmare of bills not paid..., feuds he had with neighbors..., trips to the emergency room because of alcohol poisoning..., extended stays in the hospital because of overdoses..., wrecked vehicles..., threats..., one fight between this son-in-law and one of the others..., more threats..., and constantly trying to stay on his good side, so that he would let me drive them to the hospital when their baby arrived. Somehow we managed. There were two trips to the hospital for false labor..., and then..., the big day, or night as it always is...,
A beautiful baby girl..., it was all worth-while..., mommy and baby were healthy....,
Then..., drunk as a skunk..., he wanted to drive them home, 50 miles, from the hospital. I refused. He was insulted; but, he apparently did not want to fist-fight in front of the hospital..., and that was exactly what it was going to take for him to get me from behind the steering wheel. And, home we went.., to the house that was already in the early stages of foreclosure.
I dropped them all off..., left my wife there to help with my daughter and her new baby girl..., I was finally ready to wash my hands of the entire mess..., I had accomplished my goal..., they made it home alive. I thought I was done?
The first night home, the man's own mother showed up with a fifth of whiskey..., to celebrate the birth..., they sat in the baby's nursery and drank whiskey straight from a bottle until my son-in-law passed out in the floor. My wife called...,
I drove over their like I was being chased by the devil himself..., I guess I was, come to think of it..., we loaded up mommy and baby, and took them home with us. In the morning he called..., wanting to know where his car keys were..., he never asked about his little family. He was in a hurry to be there when the liquor store opened. I cursed him..., he cursed me..., once again, he threatened to kill me..., and I hung-up on him.
My daughter decided she would stay with us until he went to rehab..., she and I had taken her husband to rehab on more than one occasion, only to be turned away because he was drunk and/or high when we got there. My other two sons-in-law offered to borrow enough money to pay his way to a private rehab facility. Instead of going to rehab, the alcohol and drugs went to an even higher degree of abuse.
Living separate became "legally separated". Separated became "divorced". There were awkward meetings/visitations. The baby learned to speak...,learned to walk..., became a little person..., threats became less frequent..., there were court dates to first fight over child support..., he did not want to pay..., my daughter didn't care...., she wanted nothing from him..., somewhere along the way, she finally stopped being in love.., it did not happen over night.
And then..., he died.
His organs could not withstand any more abuse.
There was no celebrating in our family...,
My daughter had been in love. She cared for him..., she had a baby with him. And now, she cried for him. We all cried..., we all loved him.
He will not see his baby grow to be a pretty, smart, talented young lady..., as I did. He will not see her in her prom dress..., will not teach her to drive..., will not watch her graduate from high school/college..., will not walk her down the aisle to give her hand to a young man who will love her with all his heart.
Someday..., when she is old enough..., my daughter will tell her daughter about her daddy..., that tall handsome, athletic young boy/man, who loved his daughter with all his heart..., that's all she will know, and all she needs to know.
Yeah..., Dad liked the boys..., seems like we were always doing something together. One brought over a football..., I bought each of us a new baseball glove. Grandbabies began to spring-up like daisies. But...., a really big BUT..., one of the guys liked to "drink a couple of beers" after work. A couple?
Sometimes when we had family functions, he seemed to be a little unsteady on his feet. He would excuse himself, and go to the bathroom at odd times. And, he began to complain more and more about how everyone..., everyone mistreated him, and took advantage of him.
My daughter had never been around anyone with a "substance" problem. She didn't recognize any of the tell-tale signs of an alcoholic..., but everyone else was noticing. He showed up at her work, teaching school and coaching, with a strong odor of alcohol on his breath..., and stumbling around. At the end of the year, she was not rehired. Good evaluations..., but no explanation for her "pink slip".
The other two sisters had children by then..., and, were none too happy when the son-in-law with the "problem" wanted to whisk the babies over his head..., stumbling all the while. He was quickly losing those daughters' trust and confidence. As a family, we were slipping apart.
Then..., one day..., he "decided" to quit his job..., stay home..., and enjoy being with his wife through her first pregnancy. Problem was..., his wife was baby-sitting all of the surrounding neighbors children. My daughter was obligated to tell the neighbors..., now, she had no income.
The next nine months were an absolute nightmare of bills not paid..., feuds he had with neighbors..., trips to the emergency room because of alcohol poisoning..., extended stays in the hospital because of overdoses..., wrecked vehicles..., threats..., one fight between this son-in-law and one of the others..., more threats..., and constantly trying to stay on his good side, so that he would let me drive them to the hospital when their baby arrived. Somehow we managed. There were two trips to the hospital for false labor..., and then..., the big day, or night as it always is...,
A beautiful baby girl..., it was all worth-while..., mommy and baby were healthy....,
Then..., drunk as a skunk..., he wanted to drive them home, 50 miles, from the hospital. I refused. He was insulted; but, he apparently did not want to fist-fight in front of the hospital..., and that was exactly what it was going to take for him to get me from behind the steering wheel. And, home we went.., to the house that was already in the early stages of foreclosure.
I dropped them all off..., left my wife there to help with my daughter and her new baby girl..., I was finally ready to wash my hands of the entire mess..., I had accomplished my goal..., they made it home alive. I thought I was done?
The first night home, the man's own mother showed up with a fifth of whiskey..., to celebrate the birth..., they sat in the baby's nursery and drank whiskey straight from a bottle until my son-in-law passed out in the floor. My wife called...,
I drove over their like I was being chased by the devil himself..., I guess I was, come to think of it..., we loaded up mommy and baby, and took them home with us. In the morning he called..., wanting to know where his car keys were..., he never asked about his little family. He was in a hurry to be there when the liquor store opened. I cursed him..., he cursed me..., once again, he threatened to kill me..., and I hung-up on him.
My daughter decided she would stay with us until he went to rehab..., she and I had taken her husband to rehab on more than one occasion, only to be turned away because he was drunk and/or high when we got there. My other two sons-in-law offered to borrow enough money to pay his way to a private rehab facility. Instead of going to rehab, the alcohol and drugs went to an even higher degree of abuse.
Living separate became "legally separated". Separated became "divorced". There were awkward meetings/visitations. The baby learned to speak...,learned to walk..., became a little person..., threats became less frequent..., there were court dates to first fight over child support..., he did not want to pay..., my daughter didn't care...., she wanted nothing from him..., somewhere along the way, she finally stopped being in love.., it did not happen over night.
And then..., he died.
His organs could not withstand any more abuse.
There was no celebrating in our family...,
My daughter had been in love. She cared for him..., she had a baby with him. And now, she cried for him. We all cried..., we all loved him.
He will not see his baby grow to be a pretty, smart, talented young lady..., as I did. He will not see her in her prom dress..., will not teach her to drive..., will not watch her graduate from high school/college..., will not walk her down the aisle to give her hand to a young man who will love her with all his heart.
Someday..., when she is old enough..., my daughter will tell her daughter about her daddy..., that tall handsome, athletic young boy/man, who loved his daughter with all his heart..., that's all she will know, and all she needs to know.
No comments:
Post a Comment